Monday, November 24, 2008
Soundtrack of my life
The Truth about Cats and Dogs. Shreks 1,2 & 3. Reality Bites. So I Married an Axe Murderer. Lost Boys. Some Kind of Wonderful. All of these movies - even if they weren't all great movies - had great soundtracks. I love soundtracks because it is a bunch of different music by different groups or people - but they all have a similar somethin'. Am I right? Turns out, my life has a soundtrack. It's not a good one. Nobody will buy it in heaven. Even if somebody rents the movie of my life, it's not going to make them wanna buy the soundtrack. I want to kill it with a hammer. I have a quirk that allows me to remember any song or jingle I ever hear. The downside is that the dj in my brain will select from these songs and play them whenever he sees fit. I have no say. For example, every time I have brushed my teeth for as long as I can remember I hear,"I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical!!" Every time. Whenever I use the turn signal in Jaym's car I hear,"Drip drip drop little April showers humming a tune as you fall on the ground!" from Bambi. When did my brain record that one? When I was five?? If I happen upon twins or people dressed the same I think,"A double pleasure's waiting for you! A double pleasure from double mint gum! That double fresh feeling making you realize double mint's the one for you!" Am I crazy? Does anyone else do this? Does anyone else get a can of soda out of the fridge and think,"you put the can in your hand and just pop the top! Yo, Chris? Whassup, bro? What's that in your hand? It's the S to the P R-I-T-E! Why? Cuz it's a life saver when you need a thirst quencher - like a kiss with a lymon twist! Now you know that's kickin'. WORD! Drink up! Drink up is what you gotta do! Why? Cuz I like the Sprite in you." Make it stop. Maybe I should start a support group. I know Melanie, too, cannot say "It's delicious!" without following it up in her mind or out loud with "ask the dishes! They can sing they can dance! after all, dear, this is France!" Will YOU be attending our meetings?