Monday, November 24, 2008

Soundtrack of my life

The Truth about Cats and Dogs. Shreks 1,2 & 3. Reality Bites. So I Married an Axe Murderer. Lost Boys. Some Kind of Wonderful. All of these movies - even if they weren't all great movies - had great soundtracks. I love soundtracks because it is a bunch of different music by different groups or people - but they all have a similar somethin'. Am I right? Turns out, my life has a soundtrack. It's not a good one. Nobody will buy it in heaven. Even if somebody rents the movie of my life, it's not going to make them wanna buy the soundtrack. I want to kill it with a hammer. I have a quirk that allows me to remember any song or jingle I ever hear. The downside is that the dj in my brain will select from these songs and play them whenever he sees fit. I have no say. For example, every time I have brushed my teeth for as long as I can remember I hear,"I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical!!" Every time. Whenever I use the turn signal in Jaym's car I hear,"Drip drip drop little April showers humming a tune as you fall on the ground!" from Bambi. When did my brain record that one? When I was five?? If I happen upon twins or people dressed the same I think,"A double pleasure's waiting for you! A double pleasure from double mint gum! That double fresh feeling making you realize double mint's the one for you!" Am I crazy? Does anyone else do this? Does anyone else get a can of soda out of the fridge and think,"you put the can in your hand and just pop the top! Yo, Chris? Whassup, bro? What's that in your hand? It's the S to the P R-I-T-E! Why? Cuz it's a life saver when you need a thirst quencher - like a kiss with a lymon twist! Now you know that's kickin'. WORD! Drink up! Drink up is what you gotta do! Why? Cuz I like the Sprite in you." Make it stop. Maybe I should start a support group. I know Melanie, too, cannot say "It's delicious!" without following it up in her mind or out loud with "ask the dishes! They can sing they can dance! after all, dear, this is France!" Will YOU be attending our meetings?

18 comments:

Christy said...

Hilarious! My sister and I sing that Kriss Kross commercial every time we drink Sprite at a family gathering. I was actually singing along as I read your post...(blush)

Christy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shawn H. said...

Shelby, I've placed a phone call on your behalf. In a few minutes, a van will arrive at your deer ranch. The men exiting that van are they to help you, and they will fit you with a special jacket. This is no ordinary jacket. It has fun straps, cool ropes and zany locks. I've heard it referred to as a "happy coat," or the "coat of crazies" - don't read too much into that. Anywho, they're going to take you to a place where everyone has soundtracks.

Adrienne said...

I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

All of my soundtracks and jingles are wayyy older than that.

... I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect har-mo-nee....

-Lisa B.

Katie Price said...

I think I only recognized one of those jingles.

Nancy said...

Granddad used to burst into song for half the phrases we used when we were kids. Only most of his were hymns. I will try to remember a few of them and send them to you. I only think of them when someone says one of those phrases. It's in the genes, only yours are crazy, his were annoying most of the time.

Nancy said...

Granddad used to burst into song for half the phrases we used when we were kids. Only most of his were hymns. I will try to remember a few of them and send them to you. I only think of them when someone says one of those phrases. It's in the genes, only yours are crazy, his were annoying most of the time.

Melanie said...

I am not haunted by songs - but by commercials. Really. It's hard to sleep and eat. They scream their messages to me and I am so persuaded to buy their accompanying products when I go to the store. I honestly bought pure rain soap by Lever one day because I was so hot and on the commercial the girl is standing under a waterfall.

Somebody help me. (Every time I say "somebody help me." I think of that guy driving his lawn mower in his front yard who says, "I live in this huge house, I'm a memeber of the country club, . . . I'm in debt up to my eyeballs - somebody help me. . . "

KILL ME NOW.

It must be hereditary.

Jen said...

Oh yes. I totally understand. In college I drove one of my other roomies nuts because of it. And to make matters worse I always have a song of some sort stuck in my mind.

Rod and Kandace said...

I was just talking about this tonight with some of my friends. There is a classical piano piece that should probably be beautiful (I don't even know the name of it!) But if you remember all of those, you will probably remember this one too...unless you are too young. Anyway, there is a little girl at a piano recital and she is singing a McDonalds song in her head as she plays..."Oh, I wish I were already there, instead of here, playing this song and I would have a Chocolate shake, a cheeseburger and also fries and I would eat the fries myself and not give any to my dumb brother...hands off they're mine they're mine all mine..." Do you remember that one? Anyway, I can't hear that song without singing that. There are others, but I won't get into it here.

Kathy Nevin said...

Hey, Shelb: You doing okay, hon? Your posts are getting a little whacky! (just kidding! - I love you!)

Jodi said...

I can never decide what I want to eat at McDonalds..big mac, filet o fish, quarter pounder with some cheese, icy coke, thick shakes, sundaes, and apple pie etc. Marketing..Shelby, you are their poster child.

Anonymous said...

OH! I so Love "The Pirate Movie" keep Pumpin'and Blowin'. I remember all of those so we must have grown up in the same era. I just think your hilarious not crazy.

Annette M.

Emily said...

Anytime anyone says "it's electric" my mind automatically continues on by singing "boogie woogie woogie. You gotta feel it-it's electric! boogie woogie woogie." One too many church dances I suppose.

Sara B said...

I was thinking about this the other day. It seems like everyone on campus walks around listening to their iPod, so I tried it and it drove me crazy. My life soundtrack is more amusing and random. I just hate when it gets stuck on repeat.
"..strike up the music the band has begun..bum bum bum..The Pennsylvania Polka.."
I avoid Groundhogs day for that reason alone.

DaOh said...

I will take the straight jacket if I get to still hear my ditties. Whenever I hear someone from Utah say they want a "POP" (oh don't be hatin' Utahns, you know who you are), I instantly sing:
I wanna pop-pop-pop! Remember...
"Don't give me that so-so soda, that same old cola, I wanta rock-n-roll-a
I wanna pop-pop-pop
I wanna SHHHHHHAsta
I wanna taste pizzaz
all the great taste Shasta has
I wanna pop-pop-pop
I wanna SHHHHHHHHasta
I wanna thrill I wanna Wow
I want it all I want it now
I wanna pop-pop-pop
I wanna SHHHHHHHasta!" You can Youtube it. Good times.

DaOh said...

p.s. was she really singing about soda? Hmm...