Monday, May 25, 2009

My Mother's Day Tradition

I have a strange Mother's Day Tradition. Every year I try my hardest to get out of anything remotely related to mothering. I was raised in a home where this particular holiday was scary at best. The Saturday before we could already see that the next day was going to be a disaster. You could hear the ticking. Tick tick tick tick. The house wouldn't be clean, (tick tick) we kids would probably fight (tick tick) and hide one of our church shoes some place. One of use would break her obligatory sacrament meeting carnation. (tick tick) Or everything could go pretty good. (tick? tick?) It didn't matter. Mother's day was a day when Mom cried. BOOM!! Why? I don't know. What is even harder to explain is why I carried this tradition on into my own home. I'm terrible. I don't like my presents - even if it is a very thoughtful breast pump or vacuum. I'm mad when I have to make my own dinner. Don't EVEN get me started on breakfast in bed. Why would i want to eat cheerios in my bed with four kids climbing on me begging for bites? It's an unwinnable day for my family and so now as a special treat to myself, I try to be as far from my children as possible. 

I've done pretty good. I was in Arizona a few years back for Courtney's baptism, I was in France two years ago for a medical conference with Jaymeson, I was stuck penniless in Barcelona and London last year and this year I was supposed to be in Mexico. Stupid swine flu wrecked that. We had to cancel our cruise and I started panicking. What? Home for Mother's Day? No way. Jaymeson was relieved by the cancellation because it really was bad timing for him due to the fact that his boards are in a couple weeks. He decided to keep that week off work so he could study. That's when the wheels started turning. A free babysitter for a week (I conveniently didn't hear the part about the studying). Just for fun, I looked up flights to Hawaii. Sara lives there and said I could come visit whenever. Just for more fun, I booked a $350/RT flight and took her up on her offer.

I went to Hawaii ALONE FOR A WEEK. Best week ever. Not only did I cross the Pacific and got to a whole new place, I went back in time. I was in college again. A little older and frumpier, but oh so happy. Sara goes to BYU-Hawaii. We did all the things you're supposed to do in college: we broke into resorts to use their hot tub; we climbed up onto the roof of the apartment to watch the stars; we took silly pictures of ourselves with strangers on campus; we ate way too much and slept way too little. It was awesome. 

When I got there, the rental place's computers were down, so they gave me a Jeep. We became fast friends. We spent the week in the sun listening to music together. It played "all of Hawaii's best music- not just some of it." It didn't have ONE fruit snack in it. 

(this is us in the LOST trees)

I love Oahu. I felt like it was my home. I want to live there. The first morning I was upside down in time so I got up and went for a walk about 5am. I tried to find the beach but I found the temple instead.  It was Mother's Day and I was leaning up next to a palm tree at the temple in Hawaii watching the sun rise. There were hymns playing from a speaker at the base of the tree. The whole time I sat there, nobody patted my arm to get my attention so they could tell me that Mason was naked. Nobody asked me for a sippy full of milk. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

On Monday, we went snorkeling at Sharks' Cove and swimming at a beach that starts with a "W". Later we got Thai food and shave ice at Matsumoto's. It was delicious. I think I got Stwauva Gwaberry. I only had to buy one for myself. Nobody spilled. Luxury.

Then I went on a date with a guy who was only using me to get to my roommates. We ate raw salty fish with onions called poke. 

On Tuesday, we hiked and hiked and hiked and finally came to the path that was the beginning of the hike. We hiked some more and made it to Muanawilli (sp?) falls. That was BEAUTIFUL. And scary. Since I was in college again, we took this opportunity to be both brave and stupid. Sara and I climbed up the tallest cliff and after telling ourselves we could do hard (stupid) things, we clasped hands and jumped!! It was three times "where's the water!?" high or maybe about 50 feet? Higher? I'll tell you something else... come closer - it's a secret... when you jump off really high cliffs, keep your legs together. 

We ate some more, went to some beaches and made it home just in time for the night show at the PCC. Sara and Gina (you can pronounce her name so many fun ways in public places REALLY LOUD) work there, so I got in for super cheap. That was cool. Watching ladies shake and men burn themselves. We found out we could take pictures of us with the burn victims. That's when I realized my camera was gone. Sad. Embarrassing. Maybe we took some pictures of ourselves "college-style" in the jungle and we didn't really want people to see them? We must have left it at the beach when that wave crashed over us when we were sleeping. 

So we decided we'd go back and find it the next day after our adventures at the swap meet. Yes!! That was a happy place. Cheap t-shirts and dried mangoes as far as the eye could see. I bought matchy dresses for my girls and a cool carved bone necklace for us to represent our Ikaika-selves that jumped off that cliff. 

We journeyed on to Hanauma Bay. I had told Sara that all I really wanted out of the whole week was to see a turtle. (I have a turtle thing.) We were barely in the water when we found a big, beautiful sea turtle. He was pleased to meet us. He didn't care that we were there at all. We just followed him around and probably touched him. I can't say for sure because it's against the law. He beat out the Jeep as my new best friend.

(not my picture)

We went back to the beach where we had lost the camera and before I even said a word, the lifeguard said,"you lost your camera, right?" Hooray and dang. Hooray for the camera, dang that he had obviously seen the pictures. He didn't have said camera, but he gave me the # of the guy who did. We had to wait until the next day to call him. 

To fill the time, Phil took us surfing! I didn't do too bad, but I lack the upper body strength need to get that long board out past the waves over and over. I felt very wimpy. But happy that I stood up once and that I got to see the sunset sitting on a surfboard in Hawaii. Thanks, Phil.

Then Thursday happened. Let us never speak of it again. It was a bad day. We got the camera back from other lifeguards who had obviously also looked at the pictures but the batteries were missing and all the pictures were deleted. Even the ones of us spelling korean words with our bodies and some random koreans on the steps of the CAC. Sara and I were sad all that day. It was not the right day for me to leave. We knew it but were powerless to stop it. There were no turtles at Hanauma Bay. I had to drop Sara off at a bus station to get home while I got lost looking for the rental return place. When I got to the airport I was so sad. The lady at the counter told me my flight was delayed 4 hours and in typical shelby-in-college fashion, I started to cry. Stupid Thursday. Stupid leaving too soon. Luckily, grown-up Shelby reminded me that I do control my destiny a little. I walked back up to the counter and asked for a redo. This was a bad day. It was not the day I was supposed to leave. Could I stay another day and start over? She said,"You'd do that?? Oh that's great! That really helps us." Turns out the flight had been cancelled while I was crying and they were trying to get everyone on a 7am flight the next morning. So wish-granted, I left the airport to take a scary 3 hour bus ride back to Sara's.

My redo day was much better. We woke up early and got banana pancakes bigger than us. We went swimming again and then spent the rest of the day alone on a beautiful beach. We laid in 6 inches of warm water on sand-pillows. We laughed our heads off and made our plans for next time. When I got back to the airport that night I felt so much better and was ready to leave. It wasn't that I wanted to, but more that I felt I could. My battery-recharge was complete and I was ready and excited to face my real life again.

So, I have much thanks. I'm thankful for Sara (and Gina - pronounced so many wonderful ways) who let a frumpymomoffour live their life with them for a few days. They were more fun than I even thought they'd be. I was smiling and laughing the ENTIRE time I was there. They are so sweet and fun and happy and good. I love Sara. She's the best. When I met her a few years ago, it wasn't like meeting somebody new. It was more like,"Oh THERE you are! I've been looking for you." She makes me so happy. She also looks gorgeous with a mask and a snorkel. Who does that? She's so beautiful. Inside and out. Thank you so much, Sara. I miss you REALLY LOUD.

And then the other thanks. Thanks to Jaymeson for the best Mother's Day ever. Thanks for taking care of the kids while they wrestled in 12 bananas. Thanks for never complaining or acting like you resented me for leaving. I couldn't have had 1/100th the time I had if it weren't for your love and support. You are too good to me. You can be a jerk-nose for the rest of our life and still come out ahead because of this. I love you so much. Next time, come with me.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Quiz

Which of the following DID NOT happen today: 
  1. M & P stripped down naked and danced in a hope chest full of goldfish crackers (and then peed)
  2. The cat ate huge quantities of styrofoam and then yakked it up all over the kitchen
  3. Like a leper, I left a trail of skin throughout my house
  4. My house got pretty darn clean due to yak, crackers, pee and skin everywhere
  5. I laid on the beach for hours reading a people magazine while my skin turned a toasty brown
  6. I found a living hermit crab deep in the dirty clothes in the laundry chute that had been missing for a week
It's hard. The quiz and today.


I know I need to blog about Camryn's baptism and Hawaii but that's overwhelming so here is a Preslie-ism while I procrastinate:

"mom, we have to go get cat food or the cats will drive the car to the Y and the cats will find us and the cats will bite off our heads and then we can't talk to Taylor."

Wouldn't that be the worst?

Friday, May 1, 2009


(Apology to those who follow both Melanie's and my blog, the pics are the same because I took ZERO pictures)

There are those who seek joy and those that create it. My sister Melanie is the latter. We finished our half marathon last weekend. Melanie PR'd it. I LOVE'd it. I didn't even notice the first six miles. We just laughed and mocked and ran and walked. We drank Cytoplasm and ate sliced fruit from unwashed hands. We made it halfway without incident. 

This is us at the half-half:

Still happy, but getting tired. Time for Beans.

Beans, Beans - the magical fruit
the more you eat
the more you HOOT!
The more you high-five anything with a face or paw or hand
the better you feel
so let's have beans for every meal!!

I have carefully worked at building a caffeine-immunity over the years (just in case) but the same cannot be said for one Melanie Wellman. She couldn't have been crazier if she was drunk on being high. "How're ya doin'? How're ya doin'? How're ya doin'? How're ya doin'? How're ya doin'? I've had BEANS!!!!!!" For the next six and a half miles, Melanie (and sometimes myself out of peer pressure and the desire to not be left behind and mostly for a "drafting" effect, really) zig-zagged between the edges of the race high-fiving anything with some sort of an appendage. She smacked hands, posters, cups, little infant hands, faces, dog paws and police officers. She leapt, she twirled, she dodged. She pushed people from behind while shouting her mantra "We can do hard things! Come on!" By the time we made it to the end, my Nike+ said we had gone 15.5 miles instead of the 13.1 we set out for. Seriously. I would have died right there but it seemed like a lot of work. She, on the other hand, began to run around with complimentary bananas sticking out of her ears.

Because of the spectacle, we were easily able to find the rest of our crew all of whom had finished before us (of course, they only went 13.1 miles... I'm just sayin'). Sara came all the way from Hawaii to run with us and then flew right back. How's that for love? I feel I have no choice but to return the favor (minus any running) and will do so next week. (Swine flu cancelled our cruise). Jeff and Jamey came and ran it, too. Jamey might have won - i can't remember. he was very fast. I still can't believe this happened. When I get my flux-capacitor fixed, I'm going back about 10 years to tell us all that we're doing this so I can watch us laugh and laugh. I felt much love. I wish I could be with all of my family and friends every day. That truly is heaven.

Jeff Wellman, Self, Mel, Sara Bosler, Little Jaymee and Big Jamey.

Lexi couldn't run because she fractured her ankle training. (We'll do another one another time.)But she came to cheer and laugh at us. Mom came out because she wanted to cheer us on and also because she can't resist a hotel room - she says they're "sexy". In fact, she paid for the rooms. Everyone pitched in so much and helped make this possible. I am extremely humbled. We raised over $4,000 for Team in Training. I'm sure that it's the lucky dollars that will pay for a CURE!!

Special thanks to all who donated:

Rob and Kathy Frazier 
Lisa Adams Bohne 
Jason and Jennifer Knight 
Canyon Springs Dental 
Ruth Butler 
Lori Nally 
Jodi Gilray 
Mike & Emily Crowton 
Tyson Price 
Cliff & Eileen Henkel 
Ted LeNeave 
Cal Darrow 
The Cima Family 
Alan & Nancy Dickson 
Maegen Martineau 
Jeremy & Sara White 
Brittany Atkinson 
Harmon and Lindsey Tobler 
SPencer and Louise Price 
Apryl Munoz 
Emily McLean 
Christine Holland 
Annette Miller 
suzanne marchesano 
Sara Pack 
Rod & Kandace 
Keri Peterson 
Brent Stoddard 
Marianne Husted 
Sherrie Burt 
Morrow Family 
Emily Price 
Karen Wellman 
Laura Wellman 
Vivian Gardner 
Rita Mueller 
Katie Price 
Karen & Collins Petitt 
Megan Bird 
Jessica Mandile 
Jennifer Crotts 
Shaunna Leavitt 
Dondra Norton 
Barb Jensen 
Stacia Dorny 
heather ives 
Jennifer Hoy 
Angela Cowden 
Pamela Caudill 
Lisa Brennan 
Michele Boyer 
Kristy Munoz 
Teresa Watson 
Tamara Wyatt 
Toni Huskey 
Heidi & Sean Bishop 
Andrea Stroud 
The Noorlander Family 
Christy Hiniker 
Summer Haught 
NAtalie Kidd 
April Leonard 
April Allen 
Troy Slaugh 
Sam Buntin 
Leslie Moon 
Jill Bryce 
Lisa Hardin 
Kathy Nevin 
Chrysta Wellman 
Tamara Gordon 
Cheryl Wellman 
jennette farley 
Amie Haroldsen 
Kristine Barkdull 
Shirlene D. Burt 
Dahlene Mullins 
Amy Waite 
Tiffany Jones 
Suzi Williams 

There are people on that list that we have never met. There are people on that list who don't have an extra dollar but donated anyway. There are people whom I haven't seen since high school. I can't think about it without feeling like I'm going to burst. Thank you. Thank you. I have never felt so loved in all my life.