Friday, January 11, 2008

Blondes have more fun

Right? What if it's baby-fine blonde hair all over one's whole body? What if it's like that creepy blonde hair newborns have on their shoulders? If that's all over me, will I have more fun? Even my face! Gross. I am going to wax my face tomorrow. My eyebrows and eyelashes are like that, too. Anyone who has known me at all knows that blonde eyebrows and eyelashes aren't normal. Remember when I had that big, thick unibrow that none of you had the guts to tell me about? I'm thinking about shaving my head, too, because this weird hair isn't helping anything and it won't ever do me any good. I'm a creepy newborn. Good because all I want to do is sleep, eat and cry. Actually, I don't want to cry. I am happy now. I have my energy back again. I was pretty darn sick the last couple days, but I am better now. I think I catch every little bug that goes around and I can't fight it very well once I have it. AND to make any sickness worse, they won't let me miss radiation for anything! I end up dragging my sick self and my two smallest monkeys (one of which has a broken monkey-foot) there no matter what. Cancer is such a mean taskmaster. (Poor me, boo hoo.)

But not for long. I know the final score and it is ME:1 vs Cancer:0. I have completed 11 of my 23 radiation treatments (even though I think they did Thursday's backwards - don't tell 'em). I'm getting a funny-shaped tan on my chest and back. I'm tired, too, but that's about it for side-effects. Phew! I have feeling in all my toes again and almost all of my blisters are gone! My fingers are still pretty numb and I have four nails that want to fall off. They've pulled back about half way. Should I cut them off? Should I risk leaving them on? You can't tell by looking at them because I have them polished so maybe I'll wait it out.

I just reread this and I sound like a real attttraaaaccttive gal. Oh well. You love me and that's all that matters. There were a bunch of applicants who are trying to get into the Radiation Oncology dept at Washington University (Jaymeson's program) on the elevator with me this morning. (I was looking especially cancery without my wig.) I told them that It is a very hands-on program. So hands-on, in fact, that if they feel you haven't learned all you are supposed to learn by your last year - they'll make sure your wife gets cancer so you will be compelled to finish your education. Nobody laughed. Cancer just isn't as funny as it used to be, I guess. Oh well.

As I get closer to the end of this saga, I look back sometimes and think, "Really? That happened? I had cancer and chemo and radiation?? I could have died?" I don't believe it. It has really gone by fast and I have been so blessed though the whole thing. I've become very attached to my ward(s) and my family and my friends - new and old. Most of all, I've become very attached to my Savior. I think even more than being here for me through all of this, He has taken a lot of the pain and sickness from me. He has made hard times pass quickly and good times last longer. I have honestly heard the words "This, too, shall pass" whispered in my ear. He has inspired my family and friends to be here for me and take care of all of my needs. So much of this is a blur to me. I am glad I have this blog so I can go back and remember. Thanks for checking it and thus forcing me to write. I love you.

9 comments:

Rod and Kandace said...

Love you guys!

Nancy said...

Shelby, I love you. You make me cry even when you don't try. Would you like one more substitute Grandma to help you through these last weeks of radiation so you don't have to bring your monkeys with you? I'd love to do it.

shel7by said...

Um, YES! Actually, Bazzill has me pretty busy. I'd rather you come when we could hang out and play. I love you, too, nancy.

Anonymous said...

Shelby
glad to read you are feeling better. We DO love you and want you to be feeling like yourself again soon... hugs
Melissa

Barefoot Gypsy Girl said...

You continue to AMAZE me. You're a beautiful person!! I love this blogging tool otherwise I would never have known you and I'm glad I do, sister. xo

Anonymous said...

Hi Shelbs. You're right. I cannot picture you with blonde eyebrows. What a mean trick to play on someone who has been praying for their hair to grow. It reminds me of the time Scott left for a month-long, out-of-state rotation and I prayed that I wouldn't be lonely or sad or scared at night. Then my three children became unusually ill and needy and I have spent every waking moment since he left going to doctor's appointments and pharmacies and cleaning up puke and changing bedding and sanitizing the house and administering medications. I haven't missed Scott once (for lack of time to remember that I'm married) and I long for the wonderful nighttime when all is quiet and I can feel alone. Now is that a blessing or a funny joke? Anyway, maybe our predicaments aren't quite the same, except that this could be one more opportunity to demonstrate strength - and patience!. I'm sure it just takes a while to come back in its normal color. It would be stinkin' cool if your hair came in platinum blonde, though. You'd be totatlly hot. Love you. - Tami

Jen said...

Shelby, I kind of found your blog in a round about way. I saw that Travis had a blog on his profile and it linked me to this. My eyes about popped out of my head. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and away from home at that. I love you girlie. You are a strong woman!

Leslie said...

Shelby,
LaDawn Millward told us a while back about the cancer and Ryan and I have wondered how you are doing. I did a search yesterday and found your blog and spent some time this morning trying to catch up on your journey. Ryan always had a great time coming as your home teacher in Milwaukee b/c of your great sense of humor and I'm glad that your sense of humor has helped carry you through this challenge. It is clear that you've inspired many...your insight and compassion inspires me as I read, and I regret not getting to know you better while we were all student wives in Wisconsin. I do remember a great act of kindness that you did for me, remember putting that "Jane" poem/nursery rhyme together for me using your great graphic arts skills? I had it framed for my Grandma, who used to read it to many of her grandchildren, including me, and she loved it. Thanks for doing that for me, I will always remember it. Ryan and I and our little family will pray for you and yours and hope this cancer will be beaten down soon, once and for all. Keep fightin'!

Carrie said...

I'm worried that we haven't heard from you for awhile. Miss you!