Sunday, November 11, 2007
me monster
I think the biggest side effect of this cancer is that i'm beginning to feel like the center of the universe. Maybe that's why you lose your hair - keeps you humble. But for how long? I'm getting used to being bald. I'm also getting used to everyone wanting to talk about ME and do things for ME and pretty much getting everything I want.Today at church everyone was wearing party hats to see me there because i missed it last week and then Karen mentioned aaalll my suffering and such in her lesson. Me me me. Amy just left (WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING? I HATE THAT PART!). I'm so sad, yet again. I'm also such a me monster that I almost considered asking her to stay longer. Who will I play with now? Who will listen to me talk about me while doing my dishes and changing my kids' pants. Why is that apostrophe there (kids')? Who will potty train mason for me? Me me me. I need a spanking. I really so worry about when this is all done and they say,"move your name over to the SURVIVOR list. You're done here". What a weird thing to worry about. I just see myself being sad to have all this love and attention fade. Will you all still love me when i have hair and can make my own dinner?
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4 comments:
Truth? We'll appreciate you wayyyyyyyy more, but you'll have to do your own dishes. Hey wait, last time I was there I did do dishes...and I'm sure I'll do them for many more years to come. You'll probably still be viewed as fragile for a while too, so you'll be able to work your way into chores again.
Don't worry, Shelby, this attention goes on and on, even after you've been happy to do your own dishes for months. People will be so concerned about you that is all they want to talk about. Even people who see Alan weekly and know he is well, still ask him weekly about his health and want to talk about his miracle. So the ME MONSTER will get fed much longer than you will want it to, I promise
Don't worry, Shelby. I will work you so hard that soon it will all about ME again. I have missed working with you every day. I can't tell you what joy it brings me just to get your one sentence emails... oh, it's the little things.
I am so impressed that you know how to use an appostophe correctly. That too, gives me joy.
I love you. I will ask you how you are feeling everyday for 100 years. So get used to it... or make a button to wear on your shirt.
Love your guts! Lisa B.
"I walked on the moon"
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