Sunday, November 11, 2007
I think the biggest side effect of this cancer is that i'm beginning to feel like the center of the universe. Maybe that's why you lose your hair - keeps you humble. But for how long? I'm getting used to being bald. I'm also getting used to everyone wanting to talk about ME and do things for ME and pretty much getting everything I want.Today at church everyone was wearing party hats to see me there because i missed it last week and then Karen mentioned aaalll my suffering and such in her lesson. Me me me. Amy just left (WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING? I HATE THAT PART!). I'm so sad, yet again. I'm also such a me monster that I almost considered asking her to stay longer. Who will I play with now? Who will listen to me talk about me while doing my dishes and changing my kids' pants. Why is that apostrophe there (kids')? Who will potty train mason for me? Me me me. I need a spanking. I really so worry about when this is all done and they say,"move your name over to the SURVIVOR list. You're done here". What a weird thing to worry about. I just see myself being sad to have all this love and attention fade. Will you all still love me when i have hair and can make my own dinner?