Sunday, October 21, 2007
I'm so sorry I haven't been on here in so long. I think of you every day. I haven't felt great. But I know that I will feel great soon and that makes everything ok. There are little unpredictable side effects to this thing, but over all it is nice to at least know how I'm going to feel and when. I went over the yuckiest hump of this bad chemo (i hope!) and now I'll just feel better better better until (dang) I have to do it again.
Here's a pic of my new wig. It's glued on my head. Isn't that weird? But awesome. I can shower in it and curl it and whatever. It's real hair and it's very soft. I'm happy to be able to be anonymous out in public again. No more people looking at me sadly. I wanted to tell everyone i saw,"Yes, I have cancer, but I"M FINE!". My mom suggested writing it on my head. It's kind of a squinty wierd pic, but it's all i have and preslie looks awesome so focus on her. She brings me so much joy. She is such a good baby and I am so blessed to have her. If I can't have any more kids, I'm lucky to have ended on such a good one!
The girls went to a program called "HUGS" yesterday out in Saint Louis. It's a support group for kids with loved ones with cancer and it was really neat. They really spoiled them. They came home with backpacks full of treasures. They got to write little books telling their stories. I'm so grateful for people in the world that set up this kind of thing and volunteer their time and love. I hope I can do some of this stuff when this is all done. It really meant a lot to the girls and to me. Thank you HUGS!
Julene (Jaymeson's mom) left yesterday and I'm sad. It's so bittersweet to have people come help because I love having them here but am so sad to see them go. Also, If I'm going to have weird tongue-malfunctions, I'm glad it was after she came. She made so much yummy food! We had pie and cookies and bread every day. She's a great cook. We had all our floors redone while she was here, too and she was a tremendous help with that. The kids love her and miss her so much, too. I hope she comes back.
I want to thank everyone for hangin' in there. All the help and love that I received at the beginning of this hasn't waned. I'm bored of it and you can be, too. I'm glad you're not. I'm grateful for the prayers and emails. I'm grateful for the treats left on our doorstep. I'm grateful Michelle drove all day to be here and then made gourmet lunch while being trapped in our kitchen because they were laying carpet. I'm grateful for all the people who take my kids ALL DAY every wednesday so I can go to chemo. We've had so many meals. The activity days girls (ages 8-11) from the other ward came and brought dinner last week and they were so sweet. All of you make me feel so loved and valuable. I hope I can somehow do enough service over the rest of my life to somehow pay this back. Thank you. Thank you.