I think babysteps to the baldness is a great idea. Yesterday, even my short hair started coming out in chunks and mason jumped on me like a rabid monkey and pulled my hair out in a fashion not unlike a dog digging under a fence. It was so funny (that word is getting redundant and repetitive and also redundant). When they were done, i looked like a mix between Friar Tuck and George Costanza. Sorry, I didn't document it. Then last night at about 2:30am, Jaymeson shaved it off. I cried. I look a little like a hardened criminal. I'm not so itchy now, though, and that is great.
My second "bad chemo" was last wednesday and I am still doing well. The steroids make me so hungry and so i have indulged myself all week thinking that I would not want to eat at all this week like last time. Not so. I feel tired and weak but still hungry. Sometime I am going to have to stop having a whole box of apple turnovers for dinner. Man, eating rules! I am so grateful to not be so sick as last time.
I want everyone to know that I really am ok. I have had so much joy and laughter and really neat times already. The little things I have to go through seem so insignificant when you see all the good you get. You just can't ever get ahead. Our sweet Savior lets you endure a little trial and through the pain or sorrow (all the while helping you every step of the way) blesses you 1000x. Plus, without that sorrow how could you understand and appreciate all your joy? And then the biggest gift of all, to know that He knows me and loves me and cares enough about my ability to handle this challenge that He would go through it Himself first.
When I first got back from Arizona, Michelle Ricks had left a couple messages. When I finally spoke with her, she said that she had had a moment where she was praying to know if anyone in her life needed her help. (Sorry for sharing your secrets, Michelle) She said she saw my face. It was before she knew anything about this and it wasn't even at a time where i was available for her to help me. It wasn't about getting me help. The Lord just looked around her life and circle of friends and said, "Shelby. She's having a hard time." To me, it's the sweetest gift. He knows me and loves me.
I'm so happy that it's general conference this weekend. It is my favorite thing. If any of you aren't of my faith (mormon, lds), now's your chance to see a little of what we're all about. Twice a year the prophet and the apostles and other leaders of the church speak. It's on tv and the internet (http://www.lds.org/broadcast/gc/0,5161,7834,00.html) at 10am and 2pm yesterday and today... you can watch or listen anytime after as well on that website. The church is true. It's all about family and peace and joy. I couldn't be more grateful.
I love you all. Thanks again for all your love and prayers. I really believe the prayers are why I am ok. Don't stop.