not obvious

I went in for a radiation simulation today so I can get my first dose tomorrow. What that means is that I got to lie on a skinny table in my shelby-shape while some girls drew more pictures with blue paint on my chest. These ones are beautiful. I'm so glad they are almost impossible to wash off because they go all the way up to my neck. To me, it looks like a coffin with a cross on it. Help me think of a way of explaining what new religion would ask me to do this. Also, my favorite part of this picture is not my three eyelashes, but more likely the fingerprints all over the mirror.

Christmas was great. Jaymee and Sienna took my bucket-o-hair (that i really wanted to send to travey) to Build-a-Bear Workshop and had it stuffed in a bear. It wasn't creepy. IT's really neat. If you smell it, it smells like me. Or rather, the old pre-cancer me. The smell reminded me of sleeping on my hair. I miss my hair. But now I have a bear. Don't stare. Life's not fair. There!

My first radiation is tomorrow at 7:20am. I'll let you know if I notice any super-powers. I've seen enough tv to know that radiation = super powers. I just hope it's a good one and not some lame one like making people squirt ink out their eyes if I get sad or mad. I hope I can fly or shoot lightning out my hands or cook. Or perhaps bio-luminesence - my glow would tell could-be predators that I taste bitter. What super power would you want?

Endure to the End

That's what it's all about. It's easy to have a change of heart - for a little while. It's easy to make new year's resolutions and even keep them - for a little while. It's easy to go through cancer and get through chemo and keep a good attitude - for a little while. Now is the hard part. I feel myself slipping. This morning I spent forever trying to glue fake eyelashes and my wig on with fingers that don't work and had to give up because my kids needed me to get them ready for church, too. Here I am almost three weeks from my last chemo and my eyelashes and eyebrows fall out. I thought I was safe. I had lost a lot, but I had kept a lot, too. I'm sitting here "cancer-free" and I get sad over some dumb eyelashes? It makes me feel vain and ungrateful - which makes me feel bad - which makes me lose my positive attitude - which makes me want to sit on my island and cry for a while. Endure to the end! This reminds me of my first pregnancy. Everyone tells you about pregnancy. Everyone tells you about labor and delivery. Nobody tells you that after you have the baby, there's still a lot of junk to deal with. "What? I'm done! I had my baby. I'm not pregnant anymore!" Endure to the end, my friend.

In the beginning, I felt a lot of strength and resolve to be a kinder mom, a better wife and to do more service. The Lord gave me more time and I was going to use it for the best of things. This morning I yelled at my kids for losing their church shoes and yelled at my husband for having meetings every Sunday morning. Look at me go! Yell yell yell. I don't hink I yelled this much BEFORE cancer, so I'm not doing so hot on the endure to the end thing.

How many of you made changes in your own lives when this cancer hit us? I know it sounds so conceited to presume other people changed their lives because of some dumb disease that hit me, and I only say so because I know from your cards and emails that you have. Are you guys still going strong? What can we do for a recharge? My batteries are low. Hopefully yours are not.

I feel a little like I am letting people down by letting you in on my sad day. Everyone is always telling me how wonderful it is that I am so positive. I have felt really happy and fine until I got sick last week. It really bugged me that I couldn't fell better even though I wasn't going through chemo anymore. I feel better now, but my spirits are a little slower in recovering. I am going to be fine, you are going to be fine. We're all going to be fine - let's just be sure to keep praying for each other.

I love you all!

I got four boss tattoos!

Hi everybody. Sorry for the long delay in writing. I really thought I'd feel better by now. Oh well. Could be worse - I could have cancer, right? I thought I'd type a little update. The sores on my feet and hands are starting to heal (heel?) and I'm hoping to start getting some feeling back soon, too. My hair ISN'T growing and probably won't start (according to my doc) for another 6 weeks. I've gotten pretty used to myself bald and Preslie even prefers it. I love the unconditional love of babies. This dumb bug I have should be gone soon. I feel better today than yesterday. That's how it used to be. That makes me happy.

I went in for another appointment with the radiation oncologist today. I know so much about that stuff because of Jaym and yet I was still pretty nervous. Weird. There were tears, nudity and long boring parts. Sounds like an Oscar movie. They painted, drew and tattooed all over my body. The paint markers smelled like those markers we all had when we were young that would draw with purple and then put a sweet silver edge around everything. I have a big blue paint line that goes from my neck down and then some on each side and one on each arm. they put clear tape over them to make sure they don't wash off - even though they said they're pretty impossible to wash off. Then I got tiny tattoos. One on my chest, one on my tummy and one on each side. Then they laid me down on a black garbage bag on a table and shot me in and out of a big cheerio to make sure it was all in the right spots. When they finished congratulating themselves for getting it right, they put some weird chemicals into the garbage bag and it started to foam up and get hot. It formed all around my body to make a cool shelby-shape. Then it cooled down and hardened. They'll use it each time so that they're sure I'm in the same position. I'll probably paint it and auction it off at the end of my treatments, not.

On Sunday they cancelled church because of all the pretty snow. We kinda took it to mean they cancelled Sunday and let the kids play outside in all that winter-wonderfullness. It was so beautiful. I love this place. I'll post pictures soon.

So that's all that's new. I'm still waiting to jump for joy at being cancer-free. I am yet to feel up to jumping. Maybe tomorrow? Hope so. I got some Christmas to feel and do.

Don't stop praying.

(this is Melanie)
Hey all you (including me) who let out one big collective sigh and a big "Phew!" when they heard the news about Shelby's scan - don't stop praying for her yet please. She has the flu right now and a low white blood cell count so her body is having a hard time fighting it off. We had the crappy flu in our home recently and it went around and around for two weeks - and none of us are immuno-compromised! Don't be too worried or alarmed, just please don't forget to keep her in your prayers and thoughts for a while longer. Thanks so much. We love you.
I love you Shelby. I am so sorry this dumb thing didn't just end the day you got that clean scan. Wouldn't it have been great to wake up the next day with a full head of hair, energy, feeling in your hands and feet and a physical feeling that matched that message? It will take months to feel all the way better - but you will!! We can't wait. But we will wait and we will keep praying and calling and helping until you are 100% again.

Remission: POSSIBLE!

I had my scan yesterday... i was sneaky. I wanted to hold the news on my lap for a day - in case it was bad - so i could adapt and be strong enough to talk to people about it today. Also, I wanted to tell my mom a day early to spare her a sleepless night. Luckily, it wasn't news that needed holding or pondering. It was news that i put in a balloon and set free. I have NO METASTATIC DISEASE in my body! There are little blips and some dead tumor, but nothing that won't be gone by the end of radiation. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts and service.

I really didn't know what I was going to do if they said i had to do chemo again. I was very nervous going into this because I have been extra sick these last couple weeks. When they gave me my IV for the PET scan, I almost threw up. IVs now make me nauseated. I think it's pavlovian. As soon as the scan was over, Jaymeson went up to radiology and looked at it with the radiologists. That's a nice perk of his job. Otherwise, I would have had to wait until tomorrow to find out the results.

I'd like to write more, but I have an appointment with the Radiation Oncologist this morning to plan my treatment. I'll write more when I return...

Sick

(This is Melanie)
Shelby is not one to complain. And hasn't. I just wanted to let you all know that she has been quite sick this weekend. The weeks of chemo have finally caught up with her and she is sick and tired, has sores all over in her mouth, throat and intestines. Her fingers have lost most of the feeling in them now and she has a hard time keeping hold of stuff. She says she is dropping a lot on the floor because she just can't grip right. Her fingernails have finally started turning black and she is just feeling pretty rotten. I am so glad she won't have to go in Wed for another treatment. Please keep her in your prayers this week - especially tomorrow. We want that PET scan to be Cancer free! I love you Shel. I am sorry you are feeling yuck.

Yahoo

(this is Melanie)
Shelby got her last chemo today! Next Tuesday she gets the PET scan to make sure it's gone and then she get gets a three week break and then five weeks of radiation. I am sure proud of her and how brave and strong she has been through 12 consecutive weeks of chemotherapy. She has stayed happy and upbeat all the while. Way to go Shelby. We are so glad it's over and pray that every tiny bit of that cancer is GONE and that they will just radiate where it WAS and therefore there won't ever be a chance of that thing coming back - ever! Today is an important milestone. You are pure gold. Just as mom said.

Thank You

thank you.


(You may be wondering if I'm talking to you. I am. Yes, you. You have made this whole journey easier. Now you're thinking that I'm probably talking to somebody who has done amazing things for me. I am. I'm talking to you. Now you're thinking that all you have ever done is read my blog. yep, still talking to you. When I get on my blog and see that there has been 10,000+ hits, I can't help but feel loved. I feel like I'm not in this alone and that there are people rooting for me every day. It makes it easy for me to keep a good attitude because I don't want to let anyone down. So, thank YOU.)

I have two more chemos. Can you believe it? One bad one on wednesday and then the other kind the next week. Then they'll do a scan and see if it is all gone. If it is, I get December off (merry, merry!) and then start radiation in January. If it's still there - which it isn't - then I'll have to go through a second and harsher round of chemo. So, you know, if you feel like praying for something specific, pray that I don't have to do that. I don't think I would be able to keep up all this happiness if I have to do chemo again. The chemo that I've already had has a shelf-life (it's actually called a half-life, i think) of 2 months. That means that even when I'm done, it stays in my body for about two months and then I can start to grow hair and get the feeling back in my fingers, etc. I'll start feeling a lot better sooner than that, though.

Radiation will be every day for 5 weeks, but the only big side effect is feeling tired - like you would after being in the sun all day. i can totally do that!

Brittany came and I had so much fun with her. I tried really hard to find a flaw and I was unlucky. She is so great. We laughed hard and ate ourselves silly. Mason would like to marry her. I can't wait until they come back for New Years. Her daughter is 4 days cuter than Preslie. I have a feeling they will be best friends.

Mom and Jamey came for Thanksgiving and that was a blast. We ate at the Youngs and there was so much good food. We saw Enchanted and that was a great movie. We shopped for "Stacy and CLinton-approved" clothing and the Jameyees took the girls ice skating. The Jameyees also caulked, sanded, taped and painted the all-weather room. They are hard workers. It looks awesome. Little Jamey added on to the cardboard box house that melanie made and even cut stars into the ceiling of it. It is really big and cute. It takes up most of the living room - much to Big Jaymee's dismay.

We also went and looked at houses. I came home loving mine more. I think we'll stay here a while. I don't want to leave my park. For those who don't know, Jaymee accepted a job in St. Louis. It's a great job and we feel very blessed. We're also really grateful to get to stay in this ward (meaning Shiloh AND O'Fallon 1st). We've never known such love and generosity. I'm glad we can be here to give back when this is all over. Also, I would be very sad to move away from Laureen's donuts and Darlene's pies.

ding dong!

Someone "ding dong ditched" me a veggie tray. (I think I know who it was) BLess you! Bless you! Not that I don't love cookies and cakes and donuts and candy and pie and cobbler, but every day I'm getting farther from "wasting away" from this disease!

i'm so glad

Here I am once again in the middle of the night. I have been sleeping so good this week. I even grew 5 hairs on my leg. I thought perhaps my body was adjusting to this chemo and I wouldn't have to stay awake again. But it's not so. I'll shave those five hairs (it'll be nice to have something to do in the shower) for getting my hopes up!

Something I have been thinking about, or rather, something I think about when it crosses my path is side effects that I don't have to endure. I'm pretty lucky. My doctor even called me "atypical". (She can be so sweet.) I see a lot of people go through a lot of stuff worse than what i've got going on. Many people go through things harder than a treatable cancer. Even the people I see when I go to my treatments have it so much worse! They lose eyes or limbs! I can't taste peanut butter. See why I cannot complain? (At least not to them, right?) This week I decided I'm ever so grateful to not lose my hearing. Not that it was really on the table, but I have a lot of time to think. My mom lost her voice this week and it made me feel a little deaf. Worse than that, I couldn't hear MY MOM! Boy, that was a hard few days for me. I didn't realize how much I depend on her. She is everything. She is so good at making me feel so good. She's what we call a "gusher". I call her and say,"It hurt a little when i was picking my nose today. It's not related to the cancer, but it still hurt!" and she says,"OH Shelby! You are my hero. You are a champ. I am so sorry you have to hurt. Bless you! BLess you! Bless you!" I had categorized it as "over the top" until she lost her voice and now I know it is completely necessary and part of my healing regimen.

She has been this way my whole life. As it turns out, I wasn't all I thought I was growing up. I had a bit of an "awkward phase" for about 20 years and never knew it because my mom told me how great I was every day. That extra boost of confidence got me places I could never have gotten on my own. I believed her. I still believe her even if I don't always agree. That's one thing about my mom, she never lies. She won't gush over something false. So if she says I'm pure gold, I am to her.

I've been thinking a lot about her lately. She's coming next week. I'm so glad she's healed or forgotten last time she was here. I tried to put on her little shoes (she has many to spare) and walk around a bit. Those shoes have walked around this disease before. How would it be to lose the love of your life to cancer, raise six kids for last 12 years alone only to get hit with cancer again? (Plus, I'm in her top six favorite kids.) I think it kind of stinks. Not for me, I'm fine, but she shouldn't have to go through it again and I'm sad to do that to her. She was so helpful while she was here but also so sad. She was strong but I could tell it wasn't easy. She got thrown into a crazy house where I wasn't even there to tell her anything. I was still in the hospital and she took over my four-kid household without as much as a "the bus comes at 7:55. Camryn will probably forget her glasses. Mason will do anything for chocolate milk". Poor thing. Whom the Lord loves, He tests and I think my mom might be one of His six favorite kids.

9th chemo

Three-quarters done. I went in feeling SO GOOD yesterday. I hate that. Cancer makes you submissive, that's for sure. "Here, take my feel good. I'll trade you for yuck." Oh well, it's just a few days, right? Luckily I have all of you to buoy me up. Like this poem by my friend Karen that I found waiting for me to not to sleep.

Well I can't find a card to celebrate your 9th treatment...so here's like a completely random, lame poem that literally I'm writing like...right now (notice the nine stanzas...wow...i'm good). I would probably rate this as PG-13. I will try for a more sappy, inspirational poem...for No. 10. More stuff might rhyme then and plus you have cooler side effects then. Hmmmmm.

Number Nine, oh it's so fine
Kills my cells, but not my mind
At least not yet

Number Nine, I'm almost done
Shoot me up like coke and rum
Ok, that's a bit much
(remember kids, say no to drugs)

Number Nine, you've done your job
Making me feel like one big blob
thanks a lot

Number Nine, just do your deed
attack, attack with all your speed
then scram

Number Nine, you're such a bore
keeping me down is quite a chore
so furgeddaboutdit
(like how is that spelled anyways?)

Number Nine, it's not about you
Cause I got way too much stuff to do
like boss people around

Hey Number Nine, you're not so tough
So do your worst, you ain't so rough
well, maybe a little.

Number Nine, you make me swell
and bloat and sleep and feel like hell
but I still look good -- oh snap!

So here's to you Oh Number Nine
Our date is over, step to the back of the line
Succckkkkaaaa.
(envision two snaps and around the world, with a flip of the head as you turn out the room)...sweet.


love you!
karen

guess what?

I shaved my head with a razor. It feels like an alien. Soft and hard at the same time. Bye.

me monster

I think the biggest side effect of this cancer is that i'm beginning to feel like the center of the universe. Maybe that's why you lose your hair - keeps you humble. But for how long? I'm getting used to being bald. I'm also getting used to everyone wanting to talk about ME and do things for ME and pretty much getting everything I want.Today at church everyone was wearing party hats to see me there because i missed it last week and then Karen mentioned aaalll my suffering and such in her lesson. Me me me. Amy just left (WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING? I HATE THAT PART!). I'm so sad, yet again. I'm also such a me monster that I almost considered asking her to stay longer. Who will I play with now? Who will listen to me talk about me while doing my dishes and changing my kids' pants. Why is that apostrophe there (kids')? Who will potty train mason for me? Me me me. I need a spanking. I really so worry about when this is all done and they say,"move your name over to the SURVIVOR list. You're done here". What a weird thing to worry about. I just see myself being sad to have all this love and attention fade. Will you all still love me when i have hair and can make my own dinner?

Can't sleep

What a frustrating night! I can't sleep - which is fine - but i am antsy antsy (is that how you spell that?) ! My dumb cat keeps laying on top of me every time i change positions, Preslie and Mason keep waking up and ERRRGGHH! How can this night be redeemed? I need my Katie to come back and stay up all night with me again. Dave and Kristin left today. The new room is almost done and it is awesome. I can't believe people that I know can do things like build a room. Kristin was wonderful, too. If she hadn't been around, I might have gone crazy with all the hammer hammer hammer but I knew everything was taken care of and that my kids were having a blast. Mason learned a new trick this week and that was to tell kristin that it was "ok with mom" - even if he never asked. Stinker. They were very generous and we ate good food and got to have them all to ourselves. We send people home very tired. And I am always very sad to see them go. Thank you so much, Papa Dave and Grandma Kristin!! I can't say how grateful I am.

Luckily, I don't have to be sad for long. A new friend comes tomorrow! My friend Amy (White) Knowlton is coming to help tomorrow and I haven't seen her in SEVEN years! I lived with her my senior year of high school and the summer after my first year of college. If things haven't changed, I'm pretty sure she will stick grapes up her nose with me, which is a void I've been needing to fill for a few weeks now. I am so grateful that she would come. Maybe one night if I'm feeling saucy, I'll expound on the entire soap opera that was the "Amy Jaymee Shelby Joe" of so many years ago - then who would think I'm "inspirational"? Hmmmm.... that's good blog readin'!

an extra hour

Fall back, everyone. Its daylight savings time time... time. An extra hour for whatever you want. What if what I want isn't an extra hour? I feel like right now I'm just killing time. If I can get to February, I'll be all better and get to start doing all the things I miss. I even miss things I didn't love. I miss exercising. I miss being tired. Isn't that strange? We're planning a trip in May and it is great to have something to look forward to. Something to think about in the middle of the night. I hold on to it on sick days knowing they won't last forever.

I have only two more bad chemos. I'm very glad because they are starting to bug me. My fingers now feel like i have dipped them in super glue down to the second knuckle. Who's fingers am I touching? Oh, mine. My feet are a mess. I have numbness and blisters and I feel like I'm walking on rocks. But, I'm not as nauseated this time and that means everything.

I've been in bed the last couple days. I emerged to find a new sunroom. Jaymeson and his dad have been working like crazy and have knocked down our old screened-in porch and replaced it with an all-weather room. Hooray for cancer! Hooray for Dave. He's pretty amazing.

Happy Halloweeen!

I don't mean to scare anyone, but here I am as He Who Should Not Be Named (Lord Voldemort). Jaymeson is Dumbledore (with flair), Preslie was Hedwig, Sienna is Hermione, Camryn is Ron Weasley (?????) and Mason is Harry Potter. We went to a couple parties and trick-or-treating. I felt like it was a "coming out" of sorts for me - even though Jaymeson was Dumbledore ;). People are so nice. I felt fine AND got candy. It was a good night.

She's right

Melanie is right. I wander around all night. I'm awake most of the day, too. My eyes won't stay shut. Weird. It's about 3am and I made it all the way to the end of the internet, so i'm back here. I have to apologize. I feel like I say the same things over and over again when i get on, but these are the things of my heart. This is what I think about all night and want everyone to know. This is what I want to remember in the future when I get to say, "I had cancer when I was 30. It was a neat experience."

I've had a few different people ask me if i want to just sit down and throw a little pity-party sometimes. I don't. And its not because I'm a marvel or a super-hero. I have made lists over and over in my mind of all the bad and all the good that has come of this. The good list is much, much longer than the bad list and I think I would be so ungrateful to feel sorry for myself for one minute. There are things that I don't like, obviously! My fingers and toes are numb on the ends... and now my heels, too. My taste buds come and go. I have sores in my throat and weird jaw pain. I'm tired and sick sometimes. I'm bald. And there's other stuff. BUT I have felt all the love everyone in the world has for me and have been served daily by friends and family. My sweet husband bends over backwards to make sure I am comfortable and healthy and strong. He worries about me constantly and scolds me for sharing my fork with my kids or anything else that could get me sick. He wakes up with me in the night and hangs out until I get tired again. He sorts my jillions of pills and makes sure I take them every day. He kisses my head. Also, all of my family and friends have sacrificed so much to come and serve me. It is no small thing to get babysitters and help and plane tickets and time off to be here with me. It is so fun to have these people all to myself. They bond with my kids and I get to know everyone so much better. Katie is here now and it has been awesome. She has been so sweet. Mason loves her and I have loved all the conversations we have had. We had a really neat one tonight and it really touched me. She makes me want to be a better person and I'm really going to try. I know of no other way I'd get these opportunities. This is all so worth it. (And let me not forget that I don't have to shave. Definite perk!)

I've also been thinking about all the service, cards, emails, meals, gifts and things that I have been getting. I had been keeping a log and worrying about how I could ever pay all these people back. I worry about being even with people a lot and tonight the sweet feeling came to me that that isn't why people do this. Not only that, but Heavenly Father will pay them back. I can worry about those things later.

It is hard to go from being so capable to letting people do everything for you. I had a lot of pride in just how capable I was. I accomplished a lot every day. Today, I took a shower. A good one. It's hard to have your regular brain in a tired, sick body. Sometimes I feel like a prisoner. As time goes by, however, I am seeing this more as an opportunity. I was way too busy before and I'll probably be way too busy again. But not now and that is a gift. I get to cuddle with my kids a lot more. I read four books this week. I eat rainbow sherbet every day. I get to sit and talk to people for a long time. I have learned much about "what not to wear" and how to "flip this house". Maybe I'll learn spanish. Who knows? Does anyone want me to think about something for them?

Half Way Done!

(This is Melanie)
Shelby got her 6th chemo yesterday. Last week her doctors told her that her white count was so good - it was like a healthy person's! Her doctor asked her why she thought that could be and Shelby said, "Lot's of people are praying for me!" So true. I am so glad that her counts are still good at half way through. She is really tired right now because the steroids keep her up wandering around all night and have for the last few nights. Luckily Katie Price (Travis' wife) is there right now and will be till next Wednesday. What a great family we have. Thanks Katie for dropping all to go help them for a week.

Deep Thought

"I just thought of something, what if the cure for cancer was something really ridiculous and can't be discovered in hospital research? Like what if the cure for cancer is: "Put a croissant on a tractor." or: "Rub your head with grass" or: "Put your nose hairs in a paper bag." You can make up some yourself, who knows, they might be the cure for cancer." -Jack Handy

Hi everybody!

I'm so sorry I haven't been on here in so long. I think of you every day. I haven't felt great. But I know that I will feel great soon and that makes everything ok. There are little unpredictable side effects to this thing, but over all it is nice to at least know how I'm going to feel and when. I went over the yuckiest hump of this bad chemo (i hope!) and now I'll just feel better better better until (dang) I have to do it again.

Here's a pic of my new wig. It's glued on my head. Isn't that weird? But awesome. I can shower in it and curl it and whatever. It's real hair and it's very soft. I'm happy to be able to be anonymous out in public again. No more people looking at me sadly. I wanted to tell everyone i saw,"Yes, I have cancer, but I"M FINE!". My mom suggested writing it on my head. It's kind of a squinty wierd pic, but it's all i have and preslie looks awesome so focus on her. She brings me so much joy. She is such a good baby and I am so blessed to have her. If I can't have any more kids, I'm lucky to have ended on such a good one!

The girls went to a program called "HUGS" yesterday out in Saint Louis. It's a support group for kids with loved ones with cancer and it was really neat. They really spoiled them. They came home with backpacks full of treasures. They got to write little books telling their stories. I'm so grateful for people in the world that set up this kind of thing and volunteer their time and love. I hope I can do some of this stuff when this is all done. It really meant a lot to the girls and to me. Thank you HUGS!

Julene (Jaymeson's mom) left yesterday and I'm sad. It's so bittersweet to have people come help because I love having them here but am so sad to see them go. Also, If I'm going to have weird tongue-malfunctions, I'm glad it was after she came. She made so much yummy food! We had pie and cookies and bread every day. She's a great cook. We had all our floors redone while she was here, too and she was a tremendous help with that. The kids love her and miss her so much, too. I hope she comes back.

I want to thank everyone for hangin' in there. All the help and love that I received at the beginning of this hasn't waned. I'm bored of it and you can be, too. I'm glad you're not. I'm grateful for the prayers and emails. I'm grateful for the treats left on our doorstep. I'm grateful Michelle drove all day to be here and then made gourmet lunch while being trapped in our kitchen because they were laying carpet. I'm grateful for all the people who take my kids ALL DAY every wednesday so I can go to chemo. We've had so many meals. The activity days girls (ages 8-11) from the other ward came and brought dinner last week and they were so sweet. All of you make me feel so loved and valuable. I hope I can somehow do enough service over the rest of my life to somehow pay this back. Thank you. Thank you.

Can't taste!

(This is Melanie)
Shelby woke up this morning with her tongue swollen and now she can't taste a lot of stuff. She said she ate a piece of celery with peanut butter on it and could taste the celery but not the peanut butter. YUCK! This is a common side effect of the chemo, but no fun. I want to taste everything! Jaymee said it will eventually go away - but how long? Who knows? So don't waste your money on sending tasty foods to her for a while. Dang it. She's tired today and her guts hurt. I h a t e chemo. I take that back. I love chemo and that it is k i ll ing all that cancer. I h a t e how chemo makes her feel.

Shel got her 5th Chemo today

(this is Melanie)
I talked to Shelby today after her chemo and it went well. Today she got the hard dose again so in a few days she'll probably be pretty wiped out. She has been sleeping better though the past few days and that helps a lot when it comes to chemo day. Her body does a lot better with it when she is rested up before hand. Hopefully this will be a decent week for her. She also got her new wig and really likes it. She said that she felt vain for liking her wig and not just running around bald. I think she's crazy. I thank my Heavenly Father that she found something that makes such a hard part of this disease a little less hard. She is so beautiful and I always want her to feel that way. I am sure she will write all about it soon but if she isn't up to it for a few days I know people get on every day looking for news so I thought I'd give a quick update. (also I was sick of all the love and kisses and barfs from her and I being first on this site!!!)

PS - She said that the other day she took a lint roller to her head to get out the last little bits of stubble. She said it felt wonderful. . . . did she say "divine"? I can't remember. I think it sounds like a great head massage. She also said that sleeping bald feels so good like when you go to bed with wet hair and you stay cool because your head is cool and keeps all of you cool so you have to keep your covers up on you all night! Look at all the perks of being bald.

All the mushy sister love and stuff

(this is Melanie)
I haven't written on here in a long time because shelby has felt good enough to and no one needed to hear from me - but I am so grateful that I was able to go stay with Shelby and her family for all that time. It was the best. She is the only person out there who could make having cancer so fun. We laughed and laughed and ate and ate and I taught Mason to do the dishes and didn't bathe him more than twice in 10 days. I love that it is said I was such a help - ha. I just went out there to hog back some of that overflow of Holy Ghost and to play with my nieces and nephew that I hardly know. Her kids are great and so nice and fun and cute and Jaymee has taken over as super dad and even bought her a necklace that looks like a tumor (a pearl) hanging out of a heart! I was amazed at her ward (from church) that was taking care of so many things - like meals after chemo and meals when no one is there to help and play dates for Mason and sitters all day for chemo etc. This is the gospel of Jesus Christ. To bear one another's burdens that they might be light. I am grateful for her good close friends like Mami and Amy and all those who are being surrogate sisters to her. I am grateful for the sister who brought the box of Krispy Kreme's (we no longer have them in Arizona) and I knelt down and kissed her ring out of gratitude and she brought another box the night before I left!!! Needless to say, no wonder I look like a huge fat face in that horrible picture shel posted of me. But mmmmm I was happy.
I love you Shelby. You are touching the world. You have touched me and reminded me what is important and what isn't. I wish too that a job would open up out west somewhere, but I also know that a wish from me is a curse on those that love you out there so much and want you to stay there. I know you'll end up where the Lord needs you most. Thanks for letting me stay and for being so amazing. I miss you guys.

I miss my sister

I wanted to write about this earlier, but I couldn't. It made me too sad. Even now, I'm still so sad. Really the saddest part of this whole thing was not cancer, it was having melanie all to myself for 10 days and then having her leave. Life is so fun and carefree with melanie around. She did everything for me, even when I could totally do it for myself. I really took advantage of her. I didn't change any diapers or wash any dishes and yet I could go to the mall and pretend house-hunting without any problems. She even cried for me. Not because of me - FOR me - so i didn't have to. When we were going to cut my hair, she started to cry and it made me feel stronger. I don't know why. I guess i just let her do everything for me.

We're a funny pair. We have different tastes in music. I like dark chocolate, she likes white. She looks chinese in this picture and i don't. But it doesn't matter. We are the perfect pair. She is my best friend in the whole world and I'd give anything to live right by her (EVEN live in arizona) so I'd always be laughing and never have to change another diaper again.

P.S. I'd like to give a shout out to my boy Jeff who made it possible for melanie to come out and spend TEN days with me. He took care of all those kids in sickness and in health and drove them to a million places every morning. He pretended it was easy so mel didn't have to worry. I don't know of a lot of guys who could have done that. Thanks, jeff. (and thanks to all those who helped Jeff, too)

4300 hits

This site has had 4300 hits. Wow. I have heard from a few long lost friends (like the Macfarlands! It's been 18 years!) and it is so fun for me. I know some people have had a hard time posting comments and so I thought I'd throw my email on here. I'd love to know who some of you people are... shelbystroud@mac.com - drop me a line! Also, I'm going to pretend that very few people read this and continue to be a dork and write whatever I want.

So I had my 4th chemo today. 1/3 DONE! Wahoo! A laugh-fest as usual. For some reason, those are fun. I always dread them a little bit, but it's never bad. I took control of my own destiny and asked for NO TAPE! I spend the whole week in between treatments trying to get tape gunger off my arms. It was short. We got there at nine and were out by noonish. I only had to get 2 chemicals and then went wig shopping again. That brown one i have doesn't stay on and i think it would be more embarrasing to have Preslie pull it off someplace than to be bald. So i took it back and ordered a sweet one. They glue it on your head and you can wear it for 2 weeks at a time and shower and curl it and put it in a ponytail and everything. Turns out, Tyra banks and Beyonce and such wear them. I hope a white girl can pull it off... not preslie, though. So, i'm excited about that. I don't really care about the bald thing that much, but this is such an easy and pretty fix. Why not, right? A good time to play my 7th cancer card. I have a deck of 52 and this is going by faster than I thought. Gotta use 'em. Speaking of white, you don't realize how pale your head is until you're bald! I have this dark line that goes from my face to the back of my head and I was like,"What the?" Turns out it's where I used to part my hair. Ha ha. It's like a cool racing stripe.

This was an idea my friend Nicki had: "Dude I have the perfect idea for your head tattoo!!! You should tattoo constellation patterns on your head and then we can stick a flashlight in your mouth and we can all learn!!!!! " Ha ha ha ha. That cracks me up. Like Uncle Fester meets Mister Wizard (A strange dream of mine). I'm all about people learning from this trial.

I am bald.

I think babysteps to the baldness is a great idea. Yesterday, even my short hair started coming out in chunks and mason jumped on me like a rabid monkey and pulled my hair out in a fashion not unlike a dog digging under a fence. It was so funny (that word is getting redundant and repetitive and also redundant). When they were done, i looked like a mix between Friar Tuck and George Costanza. Sorry, I didn't document it. Then last night at about 2:30am, Jaymeson shaved it off. I cried. I look a little like a hardened criminal. I'm not so itchy now, though, and that is great.

My second "bad chemo" was last wednesday and I am still doing well. The steroids make me so hungry and so i have indulged myself all week thinking that I would not want to eat at all this week like last time. Not so. I feel tired and weak but still hungry. Sometime I am going to have to stop having a whole box of apple turnovers for dinner. Man, eating rules! I am so grateful to not be so sick as last time.

I want everyone to know that I really am ok. I have had so much joy and laughter and really neat times already. The little things I have to go through seem so insignificant when you see all the good you get. You just can't ever get ahead. Our sweet Savior lets you endure a little trial and through the pain or sorrow (all the while helping you every step of the way) blesses you 1000x. Plus, without that sorrow how could you understand and appreciate all your joy? And then the biggest gift of all, to know that He knows me and loves me and cares enough about my ability to handle this challenge that He would go through it Himself first.

When I first got back from Arizona, Michelle Ricks had left a couple messages. When I finally spoke with her, she said that she had had a moment where she was praying to know if anyone in her life needed her help. (Sorry for sharing your secrets, Michelle) She said she saw my face. It was before she knew anything about this and it wasn't even at a time where i was available for her to help me. It wasn't about getting me help. The Lord just looked around her life and circle of friends and said, "Shelby. She's having a hard time." To me, it's the sweetest gift. He knows me and loves me.

I'm so happy that it's general conference this weekend. It is my favorite thing. If any of you aren't of my faith (mormon, lds), now's your chance to see a little of what we're all about. Twice a year the prophet and the apostles and other leaders of the church speak. It's on tv and the internet (http://www.lds.org/broadcast/gc/0,5161,7834,00.html) at 10am and 2pm yesterday and today... you can watch or listen anytime after as well on that website. The church is true. It's all about family and peace and joy. I couldn't be more grateful.

I love you all. Thanks again for all your love and prayers. I really believe the prayers are why I am ok. Don't stop.

Make sure you look at the family pictures link

(This is Melanie)
First and for the record. I bought a beautiful, touching card from the Dicksons. I will scan it if I must. Do not believe shelby.

Second. You must look at the family pictures link for there you will find pictures of her hair cutting tonight. She is the coolest person ever and her kids had a blast cutting off all her hair and she laughed through the whole thing. Who does that? She is purely inspirational. Even before she did it when I started to cry she opened a drawer with her foot and pulled out a klenex with the same said foot and handed it to me with her foot. Thus, I could no longer cry but had to laugh. Then we went in the kitchen and stuck grapes all over in our faces and took many pictures and laughed and laughed. These things should be so sad and depressing and they aren't because of her awesome attitude. I love her.

Good News!

I got a chest xray yesterday and my tumor has already shrunk to half its size!! After only 2 treatments. That is the power of prayer and toxic chemicals. See? I'm going to be fine. I got my 3rd chemo yesterday and I have nine more and then 5 weeks of daily radiation. This cancer doesn't stand a chance. Keep the prayers coming!!

On a non-related note, melanie stuck grapes up our noses and took the best pictures ever. Be sure to check those out if i ever get them uploaded.

Thank You Dicksons and Mao!

Your cold, cold gift warmed my heart and my stomach. Not just because my heart is cuddling with my stomach, either. The Dicksons all got together and bought me a freezer for my garage and a Sam's Club card to fill it up - which I did today. (They also bought my kids "moon sand" but I'm not sure if they planned on that.) We have had people bring meals and things and have had no room to store them. This is so great. My ward has been pondering how to do meals with the lack of space. Thank you a million times you guys are the best best best! (although i thought the card was tasteless and inappropriate)

hi!

I just thought I'd drop an update so I have something to read when i get on here again. I had my second chemo last wednesday and it was mostly a lot of waiting. There was much laughter with Jaymee and my mom there. Every other week is supposed to be hard and so this is the easier week. I'm tired and have some soreness, but other than that, I'm doing pretty darn good. I took mom to the airport today and that was sad for me. I'm happy that she will finally get a break but I will miss her so. Mel got here yesterday and she is awesome. This next week is gonna be fun. We're going wig shopping and the girls are going to cut my hair on wednesday, I think, so look forward to that video soon. I have to go add some pics to the "more pics of shelby's family" link... so hopefully they'll be there soon, too.

I'm sorry I haven't mentioned Jaymee more on here. That's not really fair. I'm a big jerk for not putting him in my thank yous. He has such a big load on his mind. He's looking/interviewing for a job right now and has a lot at work. He's got a wife who keeps him up all night, too. He has an offer here in St. louis and it's good but I'd love to have something out west to compare it to... we'll see. I think it would be really really hard to be an oncologist and know so much about this disease and then have it hit your home. I think he keeps a lot of info to himself and carries it around like a yucky rock so I won't worry. He's a good man and i love him too much.

That's about it. Thanks for all the cards and emails and love. I feel like hollywood but without all the annoying paparazzi and jail and stuff. I do get to shave my head, lose too much weight and take lots of drugs, though.

Thank you! and you! and you!

I'm way overdue and sure i'll forget somebody. Please please forgive me! I just want to drop a note to thank everyone who has done and sent so much already. My kids think cancer is like christmas... and it is in a way... you get a big feeling in your chest. Your heart gets all tender.... people send you things that make you cry.... and you fill your body with all sorts of poison hoping to get rid of it come the new year... anyway, so here are some thanks:

I want to thank melanie for this blog, for helping to pay to get jaymee out to az so he could bring me to the hospital in st. louis, for my willow tree figures of the two sisters spooning in a gurney, for the journals for my daughters and tha card that sings,"i'll give a little biiit, i'll give a little biiiitt of my love to you..."

I have to thank Bazzill Basics Paper for giving me all this time off PAID and taking that biggest worry from my mind. THey are too generous and I WILL make it up to them. Too generous. Also, thanks for the big fruit flowers that my family didn't save for me at all.

Brittany sent me all the books on my shelfari wish list. As soon as i feel good enough to read, it's bye bye world!

In true christmas fashion, Lexi sent fun toys to all my kids (including jaymee) and magazines, candy, and a beautiful pink wig to me. SHe also sent me a willow tree figure of a girl standing in washingston wishing with all her big heart she could be here.

Tami sent me the biggest box of delicious. After the kids finally go to bed at night, it's old "office" epsodes and candy candy candy.

My Aunt Nicki who is at this very time over coming her own horrible cancer (in her tongue!!! much worse than mine!) sent me the world's softest blanket which i take everywhere i go. I took it to chemo yesterday, Ahhhh! So soft. She also sent me socks and chicken broth and lip balm, etc. It really made me cry.

I got another quilt yesterday from my sweet cousin Laura that I wouldn't take to chemo even though she wants me to. It is too beautiful. NOBODY TOUCH IT! It is a treasure. Thanks so much Laura.

Jeanette Stanley came to see me in the hospital and brought beautiful flowers. She also made the best chicken pot pie we had ever had. It is SO GOOD. Wish for a tragedy in your family so you can get a piece of that!

thank you benhams for the sweet willow tree figure "wished we still lived in o fallon". Those willow tree guys think of everything!

I've gotten delicious dinners from the Woodburys, the Macdonalds, the Cimas and many more that i don't know about because i was in the hospital. The Castillos, Hartsells, Cimas, Corbridges, Youngs, Bennions and many more have taken my kids and I am so grateful.

Finally, my mom is the first of the help parade to fly out here and take care of every little thing. I have a busy busy household. Mason is nuts and Preslie is one. Mom, who hates to fly, jumped on a plane and came over and took over everything so i can lay in bed all day. She plays with my kids and makes all the food and does all the laundry and pets all the cat. She hasn't asked for one minute to herself and has kept strong when having to deal with her favorite child having cancer. She hasn't had any good experiences with cancer and I know she has been scared and sad. She is such an awesome lady and I couldn't be more proud to be her daughter. I love her with all my heart.

I am truly sorry for the many people I have left out. I have cancer. (can i use that?) I have never felt so loved or blessed or taken care of in all my life. So many families get hit with something like this and they are overcome with worldy cares on top of the disease itself. What a huge miracle it is that I only have to worry about getting better and that all of my other cares are taken care of. I love you all and hope that Heavenly Father poors buckets of blessings on all of your heads!!!

Sienna's Poem

Sienna (8) wrote this for me.


My mom is having cancer which makes me very sad
She doesn't get to play as much which makes me very mad
I said a prayer and I think it's going to be all right
I hope she'll make it through with all her mighty might.
Heavenly Father loves her very very much
She is still home sometimes for breakfast, dinner and lunch.
She still can give me hugs, just be careful with her heart
With all of us very busy I need to do my part
XOXOXO down here there's lots of love
XOXOXO there's lots of love above
Her favorite color is yellow, just like the shining sun
She sure has love down here. Look, she has a ton
I love her, we love her, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and also the Holy Ghost love her
She is still my friend even when she gets no hair.
When I'm really sad, I know she is always there
And now I finished my poem today and Mom if you read this don't worry you'll be okay.

Love, Sienna

the tumors

There are actually three of them. One big and two little ones. Here's the images from my pet scan. The dark shadow under the tumor is my heart. it's supposed to be where my tumor is.

first chemo

SO what's the big deal? I took a long nap and ate some snacks and my friend Mami hung out with me for 8 hours and rubbed my feet and pulled funny things out of her cleavage all day. Ha ha ha. It hurts to laugh, by the way, and she hurt me much today. I'll post some pictures when i get a chance. Supposedly, the first treatment is really hard because a lot of people are allergic. So you start having a reaction and they stop the reaction and then give you more and then you react and your throat starts closing and they stop it and give you MORE... that sounds awful. Luckily, I wasn't allergic! So it was no problem. I feel really good. Better than i have in some time, in fact.


Oooh, Jaymee showed me my pet scan and let me tell you - I AM A TROOPER! I have not been milking this thing enough. My tumors are HUGE!!! It's awesome. I'll post the scan so you can all feel worse for me. Except that i'm getting better now, so i guess that ship has sailed. THey said the chemo i got today will start shrinking my tumor right away. I'll have that pressure off my heart in a day or two. Amazing. My heart is mushed into a tiny corner a few inches down from where it's supposed to be. INCHES? Travey wonders if my heart is in the right place... rightfully so. It's not. But it will be soon.

That's all I have for now. I'll post more stuff when I get time. Thanks for all your prayers and such. I love you all.

I'm leaving

(this is Melanie)
I am going on a trip to Lake Powell for the next 5 days so I hope that Shelby or Jaymee update everyone on how her first dose of treatment goes. I hope all goes well. We'll keep you in our prayers this weekend Shel. We love you!

(This is Melanie) I made this for a class of mine. I did a few others -they are on her family pictures link.

Thanks, Therese!

I just wanted to drop a note to thank my friend Therese Cofer for taking the pictures of us this week. She is very talented. She's moving to Japan in a couple weeks and will be missed. I feel like I can lose my hair and look like Voldemort (that's what camryn predicts i will look like) now that I have proof that I had hair once.

In answer to Nancy's questions

(This is Melanie)
They treat this type of cancer with a little stronger chemo than the other and it has some worse side effects - but the outcomes are still very hopeful with this type. (like 85-93%!! total cure) Because the cells are "aggressive" they respond better to chemo than do slower growing cells. So it's kind of funny - you don't want her to have an aggressive cancer that is growing quickly in her body, but at the same time it dies quicker when combated with the chemo so the outcome is very often total cure.
She starts the chemo this Friday and will continue with it every week for 12 weeks. She is at home now and will go in and get the chemo for 8 hours (yuck) on Friday and then come back home to deal with all the effects. It sounds like it gets worse the second week and the first week isn't as bad. (So they tell her - she actually has a date with Jaymee Friday night!)We'll see. My mom will be with her for this first weekend of treatment and next week and then I get there Friday the 28th and stay the next 10 days. I'll be there for the next two treatments. Hopefully it isn't too hard on her. That's the next specific thing we can pray for I think. Thanks for all of your love and concern. The Price family is the best.

Latest news

(This is Melanie)
Well, we found out today that it is not Hodgkin's lymphoma as we had hoped. It is actually a large B cell lymphoma sometimes called Diffuse Large B cell or primary Mediastinal large B cell lymphoma. It looks to be a slightly more aggressive cancer - but because of that it responds well to chemotherapy which targets rapidly changing cells. I don't know much more than that right now. I'll keep everyone posted as I know more.

Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma
This is the most common of all the lymphomas, and by far the most common of the aggressive types of lymphoma. It comprises about 35% of all NHL cases in North America, and about 60% of all aggressive cases. The term diffuse refers to the fact that the cancer cells are spread around and not concentrated in one particular part of the node or in clusters within a part of the node. In other words the cancer cells don't clump together very well. This is the opposite behaviour of follicular lymphoma, which is an indolent variety.

This diffuse pattern of growth contributes to the aggressive behaviour of DLBC. These patients are more likely to experience "B" symptoms which includes fever, recurrent night sweats, fatigue or weight loss. However their aggressive natures is also what contributes to their high cure rate because chemotherapy is most effective at targeting rapidly dividing cells.)

Family Fast

We are going to have a family fast for Shelby tomorrow(Sunday). We would like all who are able to participate. We love our family and friends and are so grateful for your support.

Paul Schrieber made this for Shel. Very funny.

sept 15

hi everyone. i am here hoping that i'll be able to leave this morning. This past week has FLOWN by. I can't believe i've been in the hospital for a week. WHat a strange week. 8 days ago i was working at a show in Arizona. I had sneaked... snook?... into jaymee's email and had seen that a radiation Oncology group here in st. louis wants to hire him. I was all stressed out - what should we do? they want to take us to dinner and i have nothing to wear! What side of the river would we live on? Can i really resist a big house? My hair is too stripey. These were my most important thoughts. Perhaps that is why the golden hammer bonked me on the head and said,"Hey shallow! take this!"

So i'm now a week later and all i can feel is gratitude. I've seen up close the love that has always been around me. My husband was a crumpled up dollar (to steal a phrase from sienna). My mom forgot herself and her fears and jumped on a plane and got here as fast as she could. I have every friend and family member praying and asking when they can come out to help me. my lawn has been mowed. my house has been cleaned. my kids have had a great week playing with their friends. My ward is all standing with their hand in the air saying, "pick me! ooh ooh! Let me do something!" It's overwhelming. I am so grateful.

I honestly haven't been scared or worried for even one second. And that's not because i'm so great as all you say. It has not been a decision i had to make. It's just the way I feel and i know it's from the Holy Ghost. Jeff gave me a great blessing and i told sienna about it and she has reassured everyone around her,"Mom is going to be fine. She got a blessing and is hogging the Holy Ghost". I feel like there is this huge blanket of peace all around and anyone who wants it just needs to crawl under and pull a portion of it up to their chin. It's big enough for everyone. That's why everyone who wants to - gets to feel this same peace i do. What a loving Heavenly Father to provide us with that.

Last night I was a little uncomfortable and I thought to myself,"This whole ordeal will make me better understand the trials my dad went through and it can make us closer." His was much much worse than mine, but i'm still grateful to get a taste so that i can better understand him and remember him. That's when it hit me. This is why the atonement took place. This is why our Savior took on not only our sins, but our illnesses and pains. So he can know what we are going through and it can make us much closer. It's something I have known all my life but never felt as strongly as I do now. I am truly humbled that someone as beautiful and perfect and important as my Savior would take the time to find out how i will feel going through this little hurdle so he can succor me. Mami told me this week that Jeffrey R. Holland said "succor" means "run to".

Thought from mom

If you would have told me a week ago that tonight I would be on my knees giving tearful thanks that my daughter had Hodgkins disease, I would have told you were crazy, but that is what it is and treatment should totally take care of her. She
never wavered in the least in her faith and is an example to us all.

Beginnings

(Sept. 11, 2007) (This is a letter Shelby sent out to our family) I thought I'd drop a note before the family rumor machine gets up to full speed and people get the wrong information. Over the past few weeks I have had some chest pains when i overexerted
myself. It wasn't so bad, but it started happening more and more
often. When i was in Arizona for Bazzill's weekend getaway thing, I
had a real bad night on Thursday and then when I got to melanie's
house on Saturday night it became unbearable. She took me to the ER
at about 2 am. (If you have to go to the ER, she's the one to have
take you.) It was fun. I told them that my heart felt too big for the
space it was in. They thought it might be a clot. I got a CT scan and an x ray. Melanie and I were spooning on my cot (it was very
cold) and laughing our heads off when a doctor came in and told us
it's time to get down to business. He said I have a mass in my chest
and fluid around my heart. That part wasn't as fun. They transferred
me to another hospital. They told me there that it was quite a large
mass - about 8cm across and that it was either a benign mass or one
of 2 cancers. Jaymee flew out and talked them into letting him take
me back to his hospital. We are here at the Siteman Cancer center -
barnes-jewish hospital in St. Louis. I had a biopsy today and the
preliminary results indicate that it is cancer, we're just not sure
what kind yet. It's either lymphoma or thymoma. We'll find out over
the next day or two.

So that's the real story. This has already been an amazing experience
and I see lots of ways this will be a good thing for me and for my
family. I am happy and feel so much peace. Jeff gave me a great
blessing and he said i'd have an extra abundance of the Holy Ghost
and he couldn't be more right. I have already felt my dad near and
feel blessed to have someone who knows what this is like cheering for
me on the other side, too. I am not scared. I know it'll be a
sometimes-yucky journey, but I'm not worried about it being anything
more than that. I'm not going to die from this. I am going to grow
closer to my Savior and to my family and come out a better person
when it's over. I'm going to read books and take naps and eat
whatever i want. I know it was no that I got to be with Melanie when this all happened . She is such an amazing person and
she has made this so much easier to deal with. My mom has been very
strong and positive and wonderful and is coming out to help - even on
a plane for more than two hours!

I love you all. Please keep my little family in your prayers.

(Sept. 12, 2007)( Shelby)
here's what i know right now:
it looks like i will be out of the hospital this weekend. hopefully they will tell me what it is this morning and we'll make a treatment plan. i am having a pet scan and a bone marrow biopsy today so we can see how advanced it is. Mom is coming on thursday. I'm not sure what her plan is as far as how long she is going to stay. It looks like i'll have about 12 weeks of chemo (yes, i'll be bald in 2 weeks! Oooh - i'm totally gointo be an eagle for halloween!) and then i'll have a couple week break and then start radiation for about 4-5 weeks. my radiation oncologist is really really really good-looking, so i'm almost looking forward to that part. He could please use your prayers, too. He's having a hard time. Turns out, he loves me very very much.

Chris Price - Sep 12, 2007
Is there just any way to tell you how much we love you and what a giant you are in all of our eyes? You are just the best and bless your heart for working so hard to make all of us feel better.

Shel7by Stroud - Sep 12, 2007
hey everybody. here's an update: tomorrow i have to go under anesthesia and get a better biopsy. that kinda stinks, but it's ok because i'll be sleepy. They did 2 bone marrow biopsies today and that was weird. i had some vercet and i would come out and see what was going on and one time i really thought the doctor was jumping on my back and it hurt like crazy so i went back under. when it was over it sounds like that's kind of what happened. i gpt a pet scan today and the cancer is in a three nodes but not anywhere else in my body.. which means it probably hasn't matasticized... however you spell that. I am still happy and fine. Jaymee had a blessing last night and he was much better today. thanks for your prayers. you guys are all so awesome.

(Sept. 14, 2007) (Shelby)
they are almost sure it is hodgkins. phew! thanks for your prayers. i think i'm finally getting hit with the tired stick and should sleep good tonight.